Some Things You Can Never Get Back

Memory shattering

Spilling out

In tiny little bits

And pieces,

From all the corners

Of my soul.

Images flashing

Back and forth on my mind

Round and round

In my head

And I think,

And I think,

About it all

Again and again.

Relive it all

Flesh drenching

Hands clenching

Muscle spasms

Head all full of muddle

Knees twitching

And all the memories

All the memories

Flooding back down

Over me.

Some things you can never get back.

Images of what

Once was.

Dark and black

And decaying.

And images of

What could have been.

All the moments in between...

And I know

Some things

You can never

Get back.

Time passed

Buried bodies

And buried memories

Wasted time

And wasted lives

And all the moments

I can never take back

Violation

Theft and brutal beating

Arms always full of bruises

Innocence

Rape and ravage

Some things

You can never get back.

Images flash

Once more...

The pictures of my life

Flashing before me,

I see white light

The end of my life.

Images flash

Back and forth

On those caverns

Of my mind

Some buried

And some repressed

And others cherished...

Lives and loves lost

Lifeless, limp body

And wet muddy land.

Moments missing

And others mark me

Forever.

Battle within...

On what to take

In case of fire.

And what

To leave

And let it all burn.

Some things you can never get back.

And other things you can never change.

Some of it,

We have control over,

And the rest...

Well, it is all the rest.

What you decide to do with it

Seals your own fate.

To this day,

I am still not sure what I am gonna do.

And I wish,

I could just get

A few moments back.

I swear I would not waste them.

Ahhhh, the tortures of regret.

Graduation Is Upon Us, Well...Me, Anyway

Well, just a mere update...but, a very important one, at that. I finished my last class of my college career tonight. At least until I change my mind and go to grad school. For the time being, though, I am sticking it out at the restaurant...while I set aside one day to write. And I am going to pursue writing for the next six months, while I pay my bills waiting tables. My mouth is watering to think of the delicious Carnitas we serve! (That seems like a sarcastic comment, but really I love the Carnitas...and I guess I am glad that there will not be too much change all at once in my life.)

It really seems like I just started back to school the other day. I actually was blogging when I first went back to college. And I graduate on Saturday.

I am glad it is over. I am glad to relax a little tonight. And then, tomorrow morning...I am going to start my new writing projects. Or I am going to dedicate the morning to my new projects that I have already started.

Graduation. I am proud, I guess. I am glad to be finished, finally. And I hope to make a living as a writer within the next two years...in any capacity I can.

Off The Cuff

Drowning,

In a sea of madness

A thousand

Different people.

Screaming out from roof tops.

And one...

Just one lone person,

It seemed.

It seems,

At least now.

Drowning,

In a sea of madness,

All over again.

But, the game is very different.

Still...

I am drowning.

They were drowning.

So many people have drowned.

The waters,

The waters all around.

I was.

I am.

I relive the water

All around.

And I think...

I know how to swim.

I know...

I know how to sink,

And I am trying to

Avoid

That

At all costs.

Drowning,

In emotions of the past,

And all this stuff

Has only made me stronger.

And I gotta make it happen.

I gotta make it happen.